last night home.
The internet has made me too self aware for my own good. I feel like i’m losing my sense of self by discovering more and more how easily I can be classified. This makes me wonder, am I easily classifiable because i’ve been homogenized by the internet, or am I just able to seek out studies at the tip of my fingertips that confirm my entire sense of individuality is nothing more than a stereotype? Were people always like this?
Today I made a song, which made me happy. Later I realized all the influences that brought it on and how unoriginal it actually was, which made me sad. How much of my creativity is from my soul, and how much is me just trying to regurgitate everything I consume on the internet? Practice makes perfect, but how can one find motivation to create when you’re staring your own lack of originality in the face?
I’ve become consumed with music culture while my own creativity festers in the gutter. I want to stop checking the blogs and downloading music, but I can’t. It would mean redefining my entire sense of self, from a music nerd to an actual musician. Is there a difference?
